Toys 'R' Us, where a kid can be humiliated beyond all belief.

I will start my blog on a little lighter note than Navin's. My embarrassing story will perhaps open up a dialogue with our readers, and perhaps they can share theirs as well. This will also be a good way to break the ice, I suppose.

So there I was, in Toys 'R' Us. I must of been a young handsome man of ten. Eleven the latest. I made my way to the videogame department, and stuck my face to the glass. Visions of Turbografx-16s filled my head. Sega was telling me that they do what Nintendon't. I believed them, I believed them so hard. Well about this time, as I was looking at the 8 and 16 bit glories, I felt something. Something I had not felt since, well, since the last time I had to go real bad. I had to poop. Far be it from me to leave the videogame aisle though, this could be the last time I might be able to lay my eyes upon these systems until Christmas. I had made up my mind. I held it in. Nothing was going to make me budge. I was going to stay in that ais.... oh no, wait, no I wasn't. This little brownie was about to come out of the oven.

I ran. Well, walked really quickly. The bathroom was on the exact opposite side of the store. Luckily for me, I had buns of steel. I could clench that turd until it turned into something not unlike a diamond. Or so I thought. Anyway, so there I was doing the fast-you know this kid has to poop-walk. There didn't seem to be anyone in my pre-poo path, so I thought everything would go swimmingly. A minute or so that seemed like an hour later, the doors to the bathroom were before me. I was going to make it. I was going to survive. I was going to shit my pants.

Last Aisle, a woman with her child is looking at the lincoln logs/legos. This was the aisle that was connected to the bathroom. Of course she had to be there. Was her looking at Lincoln Logs a coincidence? You decide. Here is where it gets embarrassing. My fast walk and tight buns had squeezed a good size pebble o' poo out, and by God if it didn't break off and run down the entire length of my jeans, bounce off my shoe, and land on the floor right in front of the lady. I noticed it. She noticed it. I didn't stop. I shot into the bathroom.

I never wanted to come out, either. I was going to set up shop and live out the remaining years of my life in there. As I paced about the bathroom, I hear over the loudspeaker, "Clean up on aisle 12." The mother had squeeled on me. Mortified, I didn't know what to do, or what to expect when I came out. Would she and all the workers be outside, waiting for me? Who knew. I paced some more. A good ten minutes later, I traversed slowly outside. No one was there.

I quickly found my mother, and told her I wanted to leave. This would be the first time she would ever hear me say "I want to leave" at a toy store.