Huh? I am not a bum. I'm a jerk.

I've never been that great at attending things such as school or work, but within the last three years, I have slowly been progressing further and further into a life of a mumbling incoherent shit on the street, all the while asking for your change, bills if possible.

If my wife fucking half the Mexican and mental patient population in town wasn't enough, I have the added gift of not only giving her an supposed "excuse" as well as letting my life slip away.

Current:
Just this morning I had a job interview at 11am. Now it's in the same city that my wife lives in, and I want to live there because I wanted to work things out with her. Yet I doubt it's going to happen, and I'm sure I'm just setting myself up for more wasted time. Either way, I was supposed to be there at 11. I get up and don't really feel like going because the night before my wife disappeared. Something inside me is thinking that I HAVE to go though. So I write an email to the HR lady that I was in a car accident and that I was hospitalized. Great. I now have an appointment for next week. Hope I don't get called on my bullshit, but it's what I'm best at apparently.

Past/General experiences
For the last three to four years, I have not been able to hold a job for more than, I would say, three months. Not only that, but I haven't been able to successfully complete a semester of school just as long. When I have work, I fucking dread the next day. The moment that I wake up, no matter how much rest I've been able to muster up, I feel tired, and will do anything including agreeing to blow a cow, just to be able to go back to sleep. With school I just end up slacking and missing days, and there comes a point where the teacher thinks I'm there just for the financial aid (which for the most part is true). So in both cases I usually end up giving in and quitting before I can even really get started.

I'm not really sure what's wrong. I always hoped something was wrong, that way I could explain letting my life just waste away. I'm not particularly stupid, so I don't know what's up. I guess I'm just lazy. I sure would like to get on Adderall just in an attempt to see if it would help, but I think my doctor just thinks I'm looking for a high, and wants to keep sticking me on horse-shit anti-depressants.

Something has got to give soon, otherwise I might be in a town near you pan-handling greyhound money to go strike it rich in the worlds biggest little city, Reno.