Dedicated to the one I love.

R.I.P Navin R. Johnson

I'd like to read an excerpt from one of my favorite poems if I may. I feel it to be both poignant and apropos at the same time. It's all too often beauty is taken away from us. It is thrust upon us at such a young age, and then ripped away from us. We suckle but only an instant on the teat of beauty, on the teat of innocence, on the teat of everything that this World was created to be.

Then, that milk is syphoned off from our hungry mouths. We starve. We starve on the ugliness, the bleakness, the hopelesness of it all. We once were babes. Once were children. Once were beautiful. Now what remains is nothing of what was. The future is a needle, it's eye the past. You can look through it, look back upon it... but you may not go through it. You may not go back. All that you have is the prick of the future, and it bleeds you dry.

Now, on with the poem.

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.


Rest in peace Navin. You will be missed. You will be loved. You will be in my heart. Always.

Wrestworld issue 1a

Me posted up, you going down.

An open letter to the ladies,

Hons, when I am posted up, be it at a club, strip club, bar, state fair, or church... I kind of expect you to come up to me and ask me about me. I'm posted up for a reason. I am literally leaning against the brick/wood/metal wall because I know you'll be coming up to me. I know it.
I always have one leg up though. One leg on the wall. Easier access ladies. Easier access.

So, in closing, next time you see me at your favorite eatery, and I am posted up next to the plastic cups, come up and say hi. I might just be fucking you later that night (if you're not a fatty).

The Wizard : The best videogame to movie adaptation? I think so...

The Wizard (1989)

Plot outline:
Corey and Jimmy Woods are two brothers who are being separated due to their parents divorcing. Jimmy is a mentally unstable kid that has had problems ever since his sister died at a young age. One day, Corey discovers that Jimmy has a natural talent for playing video games. He is one of the best around, and the two journey to the West Coast to compete in a video game championship, but along the way, they must avoid the adults, who are trying to take Jimmy away.

IMO, the best videogame to movie port would have to be The Wizard. I used to play The Wizard on my Intellivision religiously, and when I heard they were finally making a movie (before Fred Savage was attached to the project) I got chills. Finally, I would be able to beat Lucas Barton (a feat I could not do in the game for the life of me!) merely by kicking back with a tub of popcorn in one hand and a pack of Goobers in the other.

I think this film was excellent, though they strayed away from the Intellivision motif (I.E. Instead of the Intellivision paddle Lucas uses in the game, he uses a Powerglove) the characters remained faithful. I can understand why they would need to cater to the Nintendo generation by switching the movie up a little from the game, so I don't see it as a flaw of the movie but a warm welcome and a fresh approach, not to mention smart marketing. The actors who stand out in this movie, are most notably Fred Savage, Jenny Lewis, Christian Slater, Beau Bridges, and Jackey Vinson.

I love the powerglove. It's so bad.

The Wizard wasn't only an excellent film, but also a launching pad for these up and comers in hollywood. You can see Fred Savage today mugging it up in Austin Powers 3, While Jenny Lewis rocks and indeed rolls in her band Rilo Kiley (featuring another famous child actor, Pinsky from Salute Your Shorts) and most notably, Jackey Vinson chewing the scenery in the 1992 sleeper hit "Breaking the Rules" starring along side the always charming and hard working actor Jason Bateman (of Teen Wolf 2 fame). Christian Slater and Beau Bridges can still be seen sometimes today as well. Oh, did I forget to mention that everyone's friendly neighborhood spider-man, Tobey Maguire, is in this gem of a movie uncredited as one of Lucas Barton's goons(one of the only characters that was actually created solely for the movie, but worked well)? Also, let's not forget, this was the vehicle for the highly anticipated Super Mario Bros. 3. Without this film, none of you Xboxers or PS2rs would even be around because this movie helped revitalize the dying video game industry into the thriving empire it is today.

So please, if you can, check out this late 80's cinema nugget of gold, and learn a little bit of history about how you're still able to play video games to this day!
I gave this film 4 1/2 mops out of a possible 5, losing half of point because they could have very well stuck with the intellivision paddle for Lucas' weapon of choice, but still forgivable.

****1/2

The Plague: Kid, don't threaten me. There are worse things than death, and uh, I can do all of them...

Don't really have anything of importance to post, but I found a bunch of logs that I will be putting up throughout the duration I guess. This one is an AIM log. His name has been changed to protect the idiots.

Me = me
evoL = him

evoL: your fucked eh
Me: No
Me: Your english is though
evoL: oh but you are
evoL: wait till i get done with your computer
evoL: weeeeeee
Me: It's you're fucked, not your fucked
evoL: have you not noticed your warned to 100%
Me: I noticed
Me: It's just aim though, who cares?
Me: Have you noticed your grammar is below average? If even that?
evoL: wanna see something cool?
Me: I guess
Me: ?
evoL: anything happen yet
Me: Was there supposed to be something happening?
evoL: give it a few
Me: What can I expect?
evoL: a lil thing called a trojan virus
evoL: it will shut down your windows programs
evoL: and delete your registry
Me: Cool
evoL: yup
Me: I hope you're a girl
evoL: you know anything aobut viruses?
Me: Sure do
evoL: thats cool
Me: Kind of
evoL: you hack?
Me: No, It's stupid.. as you have proven with your non-hacking abilities
evoL: oh but im not hacking
Me: I realize this
evoL: thats the thing
evoL: so yea
Me: You also can't send a simple virus
evoL: oh but i can

At this point the moron tries to direct connect to me...

evoL wants to directly connect. p0ny0ne13 declines request; no connection was made. (Note: For best results, you and your buddy should use the latest version of AIM.).
evoL: come on
evoL wants to directly connect. The connection could not be established because an error occurred. (Note: For best results, you and your buddy should use the latest version of AIM.).
evoL wants to directly connect. p0ny0ne13 declines request; no connection was made. (Note: For best results, you and your buddy should use the latest version of AIM.).
evoL: your taking the fun out of it
evoL wants to directly connect. The connection could not be established because an error occurred. (Note: For best results, you and your buddy should use the latest version of AIM.).
Me: Are you kidding me?
evoL: come on
evoL wants to directly connect. p0ny0ne13 declines request; no connection was made. (Note: For best results, you and your buddy should use the latest version of AIM.).
Me: haha
Me: Fucking hell kid
evoL: see shows right there that you are afriad
evoL: accpet it
Me: I'm not afraid, it's just retarded to accept a virus
Me: Why would I? So I can have a virus? ooo great
evoL wants to send file dialer.exe.
evoL: ah fuck you then i got a better idea
Me: I think you're the one who's fucked here... in the head
Me: Jesus, where did you find my screenname anyway?
Me: I am pretty sure I didn't post it in We'reABunchOfRetards.com
evoL: no amber gave it to me
Me: and amber would be?
evoL: you know amber dont you
Me: Not that I know of
evoL: thats sad man
Me: No, It's quite clear you're the one who is sad
Me: Am I supposed to know Amber?
evoL: so you think
Me: No, I know
Me: Who's amber, and why does she send 14 year old mentally challenged kids to try to give me a virus by freely accepting the virus knowing it's a virus just to humor the poor kid?

He logged off here. Probably had a problem due to RISC. It's good, but it's not that good.

Toys 'R' Us, where a kid can be humiliated beyond all belief.

I will start my blog on a little lighter note than Navin's. My embarrassing story will perhaps open up a dialogue with our readers, and perhaps they can share theirs as well. This will also be a good way to break the ice, I suppose.

So there I was, in Toys 'R' Us. I must of been a young handsome man of ten. Eleven the latest. I made my way to the videogame department, and stuck my face to the glass. Visions of Turbografx-16s filled my head. Sega was telling me that they do what Nintendon't. I believed them, I believed them so hard. Well about this time, as I was looking at the 8 and 16 bit glories, I felt something. Something I had not felt since, well, since the last time I had to go real bad. I had to poop. Far be it from me to leave the videogame aisle though, this could be the last time I might be able to lay my eyes upon these systems until Christmas. I had made up my mind. I held it in. Nothing was going to make me budge. I was going to stay in that ais.... oh no, wait, no I wasn't. This little brownie was about to come out of the oven.

I ran. Well, walked really quickly. The bathroom was on the exact opposite side of the store. Luckily for me, I had buns of steel. I could clench that turd until it turned into something not unlike a diamond. Or so I thought. Anyway, so there I was doing the fast-you know this kid has to poop-walk. There didn't seem to be anyone in my pre-poo path, so I thought everything would go swimmingly. A minute or so that seemed like an hour later, the doors to the bathroom were before me. I was going to make it. I was going to survive. I was going to shit my pants.

Last Aisle, a woman with her child is looking at the lincoln logs/legos. This was the aisle that was connected to the bathroom. Of course she had to be there. Was her looking at Lincoln Logs a coincidence? You decide. Here is where it gets embarrassing. My fast walk and tight buns had squeezed a good size pebble o' poo out, and by God if it didn't break off and run down the entire length of my jeans, bounce off my shoe, and land on the floor right in front of the lady. I noticed it. She noticed it. I didn't stop. I shot into the bathroom.

I never wanted to come out, either. I was going to set up shop and live out the remaining years of my life in there. As I paced about the bathroom, I hear over the loudspeaker, "Clean up on aisle 12." The mother had squeeled on me. Mortified, I didn't know what to do, or what to expect when I came out. Would she and all the workers be outside, waiting for me? Who knew. I paced some more. A good ten minutes later, I traversed slowly outside. No one was there.

I quickly found my mother, and told her I wanted to leave. This would be the first time she would ever hear me say "I want to leave" at a toy store.